Lisa Angel, who is a Board Certified Family Law Specialist at Rosen Law Firm
and Chair of the North Carolina Domestic Violence Commission came up with 7 signs of a domestic abuser you shouldn’t ignore.

With October being Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it’s a good time to review the warning signs of abuse including controlling behavior, threats and/or physical and emotional attacks.

If you or someone you know experiences any of the following, you should seek help:

1. They prevent you from talking to your friends. Abusers start by trying to exert almost total control over their partners’ social lives.

2. They won’t let your family visit. If your partner denies you from seeing your family or letting them visit, this is a sign of a serious control situation that deserves immediate attention.

3. They refuse to put your name on the family bank account. Abusers do not want their victims to have the financial wherewithal to leave them and thus they maintain control of the family finances. By denying you access to money it makes it harder for you to leave them.

4. They arrange for the mail to be sent to another address so you can’t see it. By controlling access to information, abusers try to maintain control of you and the family. It’s very typical for abusers to monitor the mail and even the telephone and internet.

5. They threaten you with violence and/or threaten to take your kids away. Abusers make threats to exert control over you. Often, they use the children as an emotional weapon toward their partners. This is a serious sign and should not be taken lightly.

6. They curse and yell at you, and/or belittle your achievements. This isn’t normal and is a sign your partner has aggression towards you, which can lead to more serious things down the road. Know what’s acceptable and what’s not, and be aware that these are signs of emotional abuse.

7. They hit, grab, and/or forcefully touch you. This is the most obvious sign of domestic violence, but a lot of people ignore the severity of physical violence if it’s just a small step over the line. If your boss grabbed you by the wrist would you think it’s acceptable?