posted: 3:53 pm on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
filed in: Child Custody
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Many have asked the question: Why do some men disappear from their children’s lives after divorce?
Often children are placed in the custodial care with their mother. Constance Ahrons, an American author of several books on divorce, says that men struggle with the feelings of loss they endure between visits. Possibly counter-intuitively, many men cut off communications with their children in order to avoid repeat feels of the strong pain they feel when their children return to their mothers.
February 17th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
I can only speak from my own experience. I have been in the Family Courts now for 2 years and have not been able to get anything done. No equiable distribution, child custody or Alimony issues have been addressed. The x-wife and her attorney have failed to show up 6 times in court and it takes 3 months to reschedule. My youngest son wants to live with me but, his brother has disowned me because I had to go through the courts to make him go to summer school. After 14 years of being an A/B Honor role student, he failed every class and 9th grade. His mother does everything she can to turn my sons against me and was given temporay custody and since they have dragged this out for 2 years now, the courts will never let me have custody now. My sons need closure and are being damaged psychologically daily by their mother. I am to the point where I pray for a heart attack so my sons will have the 1/2 million dollar life insurance I have set up for them in a trust fund. I am tired of it all and will soon give my sons the closure they deserve so they can move on with their lives. They did not ask for their lives to be destroyed and should not be made to suffer like this. The lawyers and judges do not care about the damage being done to the children. If I suggest to my attorney that I need to report the abuse to DSS, he says NO. Never do that. Why? I guess he doesn;t want his cash flow to end? Or, will my sons be worst off? I have found that there is nothing I can do to help my sons other than to disappear for good so they can have the closure they need and move on with their lives.
This happens everyday to many fathers caught up in custody battles and it is very destructive to the children. Our children beg us to fight for them but do not understand that it is a waste of time and money and very stressfull.